A few thoughts about falling apart and pulling yourself together…and about relationships.

There are people for whom it is so easy to fall apart, but so difficult to pull it together. I am one of those people. I have always envied the lucky fellows whose confidence is as steady as a rock. On the contrary, my inner confidence and harmony have always been fragile and could easily falter because of mere ignorant comments, especially if that comments have been made by someone, who is supposed to be your closest person. Being younger, I used to build shields to make me immune to words which could easily hurt, offend or ruin my self-esteem. With time I became more relaxed, patient and stopped paying much attention to who said what. We are all different and nobody can expect that others would say exactly what they wanted to hear. You listen, consider, accept it or deny it and go further. 

Unfortunately, this is not always the case with our loved ones. We usually expect understanding, support and acceptance from our life partners. After all, we make our choices and fall in love, because we get attracted to certain characteristics, which we understand, accept and are willing to support. Or can it be that love has nothing to do with all this and we fall in love despite of the things which seem unattractive to us and keep tolerating them during the course of a relationship? And if it’s the case, is it wise to continue being in such a relationship? Until today I haven’t been able to build the kind of shield which would guard me against hurtful comments or harsh criticism of my closest people. The reason is simple – I don’t expect those people to hurt me, I don’t want to create any protective walls and I’d rather get hurt again and again, than become an iron lady.

It is easy to fall apart, when your partner brings you down and makes you think that you are not enough. You can start working on yourself, improving and changing yourself to keep up to somebody’s desires, but most likely, if you are not enough now, you will never be. The good news is that while you are not enough for one person, for another you will be everything and even more. As for me, I don’t want to settle for less than being the whole universe for that someone who will be the whole universe to me (I am being very cheesy, I know). I believe our flaws and shortcomings make us laugh, be ironic, unique and so wonderfully human. Happy Sunday everyone and don’t let anybody keep you from loving yourself just the way you are!