What I love the most about blogging and some thoughts on the “true self”

Since I started Atstarfish blog about half a year ago, blogging has become the absolute favorite thing to do in my spare time. It incorporates pretty much all of my passions – writing, photography, telling stories about my travels and being somewhat creative. But the main reason why I love blogging is the fact that I can be truly myself in here!

It might sound arguable, so let me explain why I feel this way.

As hard as it is for a person to actually see oneself clearly and objectively and to claim “realness” of one’s personality, I think it is fair to admit that everyone has a certain image or perception of the self. It gets even harder to stay true to yourself when interacting with others. So for this post my idea of the “real self” is the person you become when there is nobody around.

I am a rather sensitive person and value (to a certain extent) people’s opinions and judgments. So, in real life I tend to adjust to situations and my behavior often gets out of control and I do or say things I don’t really mean or which might even be the complete opposite of what I in fact think. I usually regret those moments and feel somewhat off, uneasy afterwards.

On the blog, however, I get a chance to express what I actually think, how I feel about many aspects and what is going on inside me. Here I am not adjusting to anybody’s perception of me and I am not reacting to anyone’s attitude. Here I am not hiding my truthful opinions because I am afraid to hurt someone’s feelings or scared to lose someone’s affection. I am not being defensive or insecure either, which in life influences my behavior a great deal.

And it feels great to stay true to myself! 

You might be skeptical about this whole post and think I am playing the hypocrite. I am not. Yes, I agree, I haven’t revealed any of my dark sides on the blog yet, but it's only because during the dark moments I simply don’t feel like blogging. To write a post I need to be inspired and my negative sides certainly don’t give me wings! They only put me down.

My sister once told me that I am like a chameleon – easily change colors and adapt to any situation. A romantic and intelligent girl gives way to an arrogant, cold and pragmatic lady only to shed skin again and become over the top cheerful and optimistic. I don’t argue with this. I try to make my way through this and learn to stay “me”.